Thursday, November 30, 2006

this extra spice we like to call...love

my favorite couple recently broke up. i was devastated. if anyone was going to make it i thought for sure it was gonna be them... they were soulmates. they lived in their own little world and they danced to their own love song. she was the wind beneath his wings and he was her very own teddy bear (hahaha...if you knew them, you'd understand and no it's not cuz he's huge). i loved the love that they had for each other. the way they drown out the crowd when they're together and no it's not to be cheesy and mushy in public, she hated that. they had withstand the test of time and distance. but the bond that brought them together is the same bond that killed the relationship. this made me think.... and made me worried and eventually made me cynical.

are all relationships doomed to end? and do the ones who stay together only do so because they're afraid to let go? in this day and age, is true love nothing more than an illusion?

then another thought popped into my head: maybe i wasn't a hopeless romantic after all... maybe i am in fact a cynical fool. all those past relationships, all those past loves...none of them lasted. was i just swayed into the idea of a perfect love story? am i trying to catch a dream that is nothing more than just that?

i have begun to realize that maybe I'm just not the commitment type of person. maybe I'm just too busy looking for the perfect story that i forgot the concept of true love. maybe this wasn't the lesson i was suppose to get out from this lifetime. maybe i need to learn to understand and love "me" first....

but i do miss being hugged and having someone to kiss. oh how i miss kisses. hahaha...

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